Let It Go

Happy Monday!!! (well not really)

I always say that you can tell how stressed I am just by looking at my cuticles. They're gone.

There is so much going on right now between school and just life in general and I feel almost helpless.

It all started on Thursday morning when my computer froze during study hall. I brought it to the guys at the technology helpdesk (more commonly known as the wizards) hoping for a quick fix so that I could finish up my episode of House of Cards. After fifteen minutes of waiting to no avail, they informed me that my hard drive had crashed and that I could possibly lose all of my data. What does that even mean? Where does all of my stuff go?!!? Needless to say, I freaked out. Being the control freak I am, my life is on my computer. How could I ever go on?

That afternoon, with the anxiety of my tablet still in the back of my mind, I went to tennis practice prepared for a hard workout since we had a tournament that weekend. Because of problems with having to play at various sites and other factors our coach decided to pull us out of the tournament. I personally was very disappointed, but there was nothing I could do about it. The situation was out of my hands and out of my control. So I had to sit quietly and nod along with the rest of my team.

I've also come to terms with a few relationships with friends etc. that didn't pan out exactly how I would have liked. But once again, these were things all out of my own control. After a minor mental breakdown and an hour on the phone with my best friend, I knew what my resolution for this week had to be.

Let it go.

Only three words, it can't be that hard to do, right? Wrong. Letting go is the hardest thing in the world for me. I am a planner and a control freak, and I can't just move on when something doesn't go my way. But yet, I have to.

Stressing will not  fix my tablet.
Stressing will not  change my coach's mind.
Stressing will not  make the past different or make people feel differently.

So what's the use in all of the unwanted anxiety? This week I resolve to train myself to not worry about things that I cannot change. In order to maintain my own happiness and to live each day to the fullest, I cannot spend my time in constant turmoil.

In the end, the wizards recovered all of my data (yay!).
Later Thursday night, my coach found out that her daughter had received a donor liver, and will be spending the next few weeks in the hospital. So it ended up working out best that she can be with her daughter and not be worrying about us.
And having problems with some friends also helps point out to me who my best friends truly are!
See? Everything seemed to fix itself.

So the next time something doesn't go exactly as planned, I am prepared to let it go...

xoxo,
Rachel