God's Answers (or lack thereof)

A recent struggle that I have been facing is what seems like a lack of answers from God. I am controlling to a fault, and part of me being in control of my life is knowing what my future holds. I have felt so frustrated lately because questions about my health, college, and life in general have gone unanswered by God, no matter how much or hard I pray about them.

In the midst of my frustration though, I feel God teaching me a lesson. Isaiah 30:18 says, "Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are those who WAIT for him."

While it seems like everyone around me has already been accepted to their dream colleges and has a roommate and dorm decorations all planned out, I wait for the Lord to answer my questions in His time, all the while learning how to lean on Him.

I've been struggling with recent (mysterious) stomach pain, and while seemingly endless doctor's appointments have yielded no answers, I hear God asking me to wait for Him. My friends have reminded me (many times) of the story of the Bleeding Woman, and how her faith and trust in God eventually led to healing-- and an answer. Matthew 9:22, "Jesus turned and saw her. 'Take heart, daughter,' he said, 'your faith has healed you.' And the woman was healed at that moment."

You know how the saying goes- "patience is a virtue"- and the Lord knows I need to work on mine.

I've also seen God relieve my anxieties in other ways. Last week I finished my last college application, and got everything in on time! I also finished my Senior Speech, and now that those two things are over I have felt a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I also got to visit my very best friend and had an awesome weekend of much-needed relaxation with her by my side. I guess God is answering my questions and relieving my anxieties in little ways. And those are the kind of things I will cling to until my big questions are answered-- in God's Time.

xoxo,
Rachel

"But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." - Isaiah 40:31

FamJam

Well I meant to write this post a few days ago, but ya know, life.

School is super hard, and not living in the same place as your best friends is also super hard. Buuuut, a last-minute trip to Atlanta reminded me of why long distance friendships are so important and so valuable, and so worth it.

Basically since the day I got home from Windy Gap I've been begging my parents to let me drive to Atlanta to stay with my best friend Ivy. They finally caved last Thursday night, and Saturday morning at the crack of dawn I was on my way!! I was expecting to see just Ivy while I was up there, but we ended up seeing five other friends from our Work Crew. It was crazy-lucky timing and there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that God had a lot to do with that...

I talk about this all the time (sry if I'm boring u), but Work Crew seriously taught me what it means to have true, genuine, loving, supporting friendships. I can't even count how many times I've texted these people in the middle of the night or during school complaining about my life, and not once have I received any reply back that wasn't positive and uplifting. After going two months communicating only via internet and text, getting to see and talk to these precious people in real life was absolutely incredible.

We drove around together, ate meals together, met family (& pets lol @Josh), went bowling together, drank Cheerwine together, talked about life together, and even went to church together-- but most importantly we were together. It felt like we had never even been apart.

In these friends I have a support system, a lifeline, a home, a family. It sucks that we can't all live in the same place, but that only makes the time we have together even more special. I cherish every single second I get to spend with them. It's strange to go from seeing someone every morning the minute you wake up, to not at all, but together or apart we are still a fam.

I can't wait to see you people soon...

xoxo,
Rachel

"Momma once told me, you're already home where you feel loved." 

-Lost in My Mind / The Head and the Heart

Finding Him in the Midst

"Trust me in the midst of a messy day."

These are the first words I read this morning when I woke up and propped open my wonderful Jesus Calling. School started a week ago, but I already feel like I've had my fair share of "messy days." I'm learning to find Jesus in the midst of them though, thanks to some new tricks and habits I've learned.

The first thing I've started to do is use and rely on one devotional, and what a gift Jesus Calling has been to my life. It's probably one of the most hyped-up devo books out there (next to the mystical and all-powerful "Blue Book"), but I never understood what all the talk was about until I purchased one of my very own. For every day of the year, this book gives me a unique "talking-to" from Jesus himself! It's absolutely incredible. Not to mention it's super pretty and the perfect size to throw in my purse!

I've also started waking up earlier to give myself some alone time before school so that I can start my day off on the right foot. I've started to use the phrase "no Bible no breakfast" to inspire myself. It's simple- if I can't make time for Jesus in the morning, I'll go without breakfast that day. It sounds sort of silly, but I find myself waking up with hunger not only for my Marshmallow Mateys and coffee, but for God's word too.

If you look around my room, car, or even locker at school you'll notice that I love quotes and pictures, and just little items to remind myself of people and Jesus and the things that are really important to me. Whether it be my Windy Gap nametag hanging from my rearview mirror, all 400,000 pictures of my friends in my room, or the little notecards of bible verses taped in my locker, I love having sweet treasures for myself throughout the day. They help me focus and relax myself and find Him in the midst.

The most important thing I can do in order to find Him in my messy days is surround myself with people who are seeking Him just like me! I have a close group of galpals who all want the same thing as me, and so far I think we've done a great job with encouraging one another to find Jesus through the annoying and confusing trials of our daily lives. We have a group message that is constantly overflowing with prayers for one another and any great scripture or encouraging words one of us read that day. We've also gotten really good at surprising each other with the "little things". Twice now I've opened my locker in the morning after having a hard day before, and found a sweet treat and a bible verse waiting for me. It's something that is so simple, yet it really turned my day(s) around. It's all about finding Him in the midst. 

Slowly but surely, I see that finding Jesus is turning into a habit and a way of life rather than something I must consciously think about. A lot of times it's not the easiest thing in the world, but at the end of the day my efforts are so worth it.

xoxo,
Rachel

"He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." Colossians 1:17

Sentimental Sen16r

Sometimes you find yourself up at 1 a.m. watching High School Musical 3 and questioning your entire existence. Oh, just me? I guess I'll tell you my thoughts anyways.

The opening scene of HSM3 (such a fantastic movie btw 10/10) includes a song centered around the number "16" which I think is super fitting because 16 just so happens to be my graduating year!! S/o to the writers for sticking that nugget in there for us HSM kids. Lyrics include phrases such as "this is the last chance to get it right" "this is the last chance to make our mark" and so on and so on. Which is so perfect for those of us getting ready to graduate in just 9 short months. This movie is all about finding yourself, leaving your mark, and making awesome memories with your friends-- exactly what I plan on doing this year. I'm determined to make this the best year yet.

After bawling my eyes out watching HSM, I decided to make myself cry a little more by rewatching the last ever episode of One Tree Hill, aka the best TV show and finale like ever. I'm sure many of you are familiar with this amazingly real and accurate quote from none-other than the beautiful and talented Nathan Scott.

"It's the oldest story in the world. One day you're 17 and planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And that someday is yesterday. And this is your life."

Wow. Right in the feels, huh? I'm 17. I'm planning for someday. Yikes. I can't let my "someday" sneak up on me. I'm going to take my final year of high school and enjoy every single second of it without letting it slip away.

So, Senior Year, I'm ready for you. I'm ready to take everything you have for me and live and love every second of it. Here we go...

xoxo,
Rachel

God Is Good at All Times

Sometimes, life sucks. But, at all times, God is good.

Before  this summer, whenever I was faced with hurt and hardships, my first instinct was always to blame God or ask Him "why are you doing this to me?" But through my time on Work Crew I learned how to praise God at all times.

Recently I've been dealing with a lot of pain. Coming home from Windy Gap was probably the hardest transition I've ever had to go through, and learning how to deal with real life after coming away from camp is a huge challenge. But God is using the transition to show me great and wonderful things every day.

This week/weekend I got to reunite with SO many of my very best friends, and my heart is so thankful for them and they ways they love me and love Jesus. I've gotten to hear about so many of their WC experiences, as well as reunite with my WC best friend!! My heart is so happy.

This week I have found so much refuge and comfort in my friends. It's pretty cool how God sent them all home from their summer adventures at the time when I could use them the most. :) What's funny is that when seeking their help and guidance, every single one of them has pointed me right back to God and His word. They've helped me see good in tough situations, and they've showed me what it means to love like Jesus does.

Loving like Jesus does is a hard thing to do. It's an unconditional love. It's a big love. Larger than life. It's a patient love. It's an active love. Today my friend Chandler told me that love is a verb- it's an action. It's something you have to actively pursue. These friends of mine love me unconditionally. They love me big-time. They are active with their love. They are patient with their love. And every day they are teaching me how to love more and more like Jesus does.

My friends have also shown me that there is always joy to be found. My best friend in the whole world (Ivy) who I met on Work Crew visited me this weekend, and I haven't felt this much joy since we were back at camp serving together! This weekend I saw that joy can be found in Sonic slushies and and late nights in bed watching Vines. It's in beautiful pink sunsets and floats down the Chattahoochee River. Joy is being with someone who understands what you're thinking without even being asked. It's something that is almost impossible to explain.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, God is GOOD. He always has been and He always will be. Even if at times it's hard to see through the pain, His plan is so much greater than your present sufferings. Keep trusting in Him.

xoxo,
Rachel

"We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus's  sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you." - 2 Corinthians 4:8-12

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9

"Give it up for your 2003 Windy Gap Work Crew!!"

   Wow. The month I thought would never come is now over. I'm almost at a loss for words as I write this, because this month at Windy Gap completely destroyed any expectations I had going in and ended up being the greatest thing I've ever done.
   My job as a server in the Dining Hall was demanding to say the least. 12-14 hour days spent in a building with no air-conditioning doing the most repetitive work can be absolutely grueling both mentally and physically. But, three times a day I got to serve 400 of God's precious campers! And that's worth every tired, sweaty, long second spent in the Dining Hall.

This month I:

• served over 1200 campers
• set 47,712 place settings (placemat, napkin, glass, plate, fork, knife, spoon)
• bused and reset 3,976 tables
• celebrated Christmas 4 times
• traveled back to the 1890s 4 times
• walked up (and down) at least 4,648 stairs (perks of your cabin being up a mountain)
• folded 1600 tent-shaped napkins
• folded 1600 pocket-shaped napkins
• ate 4 famous Big Cookies
• burned myself while serving a Big Cookie 12 times
• made 2800 turkey sandwiches
• prepared 1600 ice-cream sundaes
• shared my life story in front of complete strangers 4 times
• celebrated 9 birthdays
• saw a triple rainbow
• got to witness 28 amazing North Carolina sunsets
• dropped 0 trays of food(!!!!)
• became a mom to a table of teenagers
• zip-lined down a mountain into a lake
• worked the hardest I've ever worked in my entire life
• got to give over 1200 campers the best week of their life
• saw God transform broken people
• watched 382 teenagers stand up and profess their new-found faith in Christ

This month I Learned:

• how to live in a building with 40 other people
• exactly how much work goes into putting together a YoungLife camp
• how to lean on the Lord
• the lost art of hand-writing letters
• to take advantage of nap-times
• to not read a book by its cover
• how much I love Cheerwine
• to push myself through hard days
• what it means to have pure, genuine friendships
• that off-brand cereal is actually better than name-brand (Marshmallow Mateys, amirite?)
• that people will eat ranch with anything. ANYTHING!!
• that kitchens can reach over 90 degrees
• that kitchens have walk in refrigerators that are perfect for cooling down from 90 degrees
• how to have patience
• what it means to really be a fam
• that everything is funny when you're sleep deprived and delirious
• how to encourage others
• that Fight Night is a real thing- and its terrifying and hilarious
• what it means to lose yourself in the service of others
• the power of prayer

And my advice for those of you going on Work Crew in the future?

• Soak it all up. Take in every second of your time serving our amazing God!
• Want to remember something? Take a picture! And I promise- you will want to remember it all.
• Give yourself fully to God. He's the only one who can get you through it.
• Pray about everything. Annoying people, sore feet, that beautiful sunset, and the campers hearing the speaker's talks in the Club Room.
• Take advantage of any time you have to nap!! Sleep = valuable.
• Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Reach out to people- campers, leaders, fellow WC members, camp staff- you never know who you may end up connecting with!
• Take advantage of the fact that you're surrounded by such a diverse group of people. Learn from their struggles and hardships, and use them to figure out who you want to be.
• Keep your eyes open for "God-Sightings"- the little things throughout the day that you know God put there for you to see.

I am amazed, simply amazed, at the ways God used Windy Gap to transform my heart. The friendships and memories made this past month are ones that I will cherish for the rest of my life. It feels amazing to be a part of something that is so much bigger than myself. 

xoxo,

Rachel

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity." -1 Timothy 4:12

"I pray that out of His glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." - Ephesians 3:16-19

my boys<3

best friends a girl could ever have

that triple rainbow tho

my sons<3

server girl squad


that sweet southern sunset :))))


late nights on the lake




spending an entire month in one building>>>




not goodbye, just a "see you soon"


"We are the Work Crew, we serve the Lord and You! Love it? You bet we do! We're telling you, HEY!"

Choosing JOY

Well, it's been a while since I've written on my handy-dandy blog-- but for good reason. Life has kept me insanely busy these past two months and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Lemme just give you some snapshots of what I've been up to.

• I GOT MY WORK CREW ASSIGNMENT!!! That's right- I'll be working at Younglife's Windy Gap camp in Asheville, North Carolina from May 23- June 21!!!! Words cannot even express how dang excited I am. As of today, there are exactly 27 days until I leave! Less than a month!  I've been talking online to some of the people I'll be working with and I absolutely can't WAIT to meet them all and grow as a family and grow in Christ alongside them. All I feel is complete joy, and I know God is sending me exactly where I'm supposed to be. Eeek!!!

• I spent Spring Break in New Orleans with my longtime bff Emily. All we did was explore the city and eat gourmet food for a solid 5 days. Sounds perfect right? We also enjoyed carrying around a selfie-stick and being typical tourists. We visited the French Quarter (and Cafe du Monde every night for coffees and beignets), Commander's Palace Restaurant, Jackson Square, the National WWII Museum, Emeril's Restaurant, the "Before I Die" Wall (Before I Die I Want To... be President of the USA), did a college visit at Tulane, and toured three historic Plantation Homes. It was incredible, and beautiful, and so much fun. 

• Easter weekend flew by, and it was absolutely perfect. Bo (see: "Facing Fear Head On" and "Expect the Unexpected") came to town, and we had a blast seeing each other for the first time since September! He helped lead us to a victory at Friday Night Trivia, and I even got to try out the new zip-line across the Chattahoochee River with his family! It was nice to be above the water with them rather than drowning in it like last time :). This Easter season was a special one, and I am once again in complete awe of Jesus's love. Jesus died for ME, even though he knows that I can never repay him. I think this is the first Easter that I have truly understood his sacrifice for me, which definitely made this one to remember. 

• Tennis season is here, and is already almost over! I've had the absolute best time with my teammates, and I can't wait to see how far we get in the State Tournament. A few highlights from the season so far have been beating our in-town rival Columbus High, beating FPD (twice), and winning the Region Tournament. Tomorrow is the first round of state versus Christian Heritage and I am bursting with excitement!! Go Cougs!!!

• Last weekend was Prom, and it was absolutely perfect. The theme was "A Night in Neverland", and the decorations turned out beautifully. I had the absolute best time dancing the night away to the many sounds of Complete Desire. I couldn't have asked for a better date or group of friends to have spent it with.

So... there's my life these past two months. All I can say is that I am SO unbelievably thankful and blessed. I've been thinking a lot lately about how much has changed in my life this past year-- and the most important thing being that I have decided to choose happiness. I used to be such a negative person until I realized that I was the only one who could control how much joy there is in my life. I am SO glad I decided to make a change. 

xoxo,

Rachel

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

Doing A-Okay

Today I realized that everything is going to be alright.

I spend a lot of (okay, the majority of) my time being stressed out. It can't be healthy, but I have a Type A, OCD, high strung personality and quite frankly I really like being in control of my life.

I had the most amazing winter break touring colleges and going on adventures with my friends, and it felt great to let go of my anxieties for a solid six days. I was worried that coming back to school would bring my struggles back with it, but I actually had an amazing week. Weird right??

I think my brain has finally accepted that letting go of control can be okay sometimes, which is something I have struggled with for years and years. Part of my walk with Jesus has been a tug-of-war of control. Something I'm always told is that God has a plan for me, and that I need to let go and let Him do His thing, but it is SO hard for me to follow through with.

Recently, I've become so frustrated with certain areas of my life that I have given up on them. And you know what happened when I threw in the towel? Everything fell right into place. God's planning and timing will never cease to amaze me.

My summer plans (and beyond) are creeping up on me, but I know that with this new mindset I can have everything under control-- but ONLY by giving up control to the big Guy in the sky, who has it all figured out already.

xoxo,
Rachel

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

Sharptop Round 3

This past weekend was spent at one of my most favorite places in the world-- don't be surprised when I tell you it's a Younglife camp! (all of my favorite places are...)

I know, I know, all I do is brag on YoungLife, but it is truly the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. The memories and friendships I've made through YL are the best I have and I am so thankful for that.

The weather was beautiful, and my first ever YL leader (ily boyfriend) was leading my group for the weekend so I knew we were bound to have a great time.

This weekend was one filled with reunions, which further reminded me of why I love this organization so much. Katie (see "Another Rooftop Tale (#3)") was there with her school, and Chris (a friend from CCR) was there on work crew for UGA. It was so so so much fun to catch up and enjoy some time together.

Speaking of time together, my friends and I decided to try the hike up Sharptop Mountain because we've always heard about how beautiful it was. After the hike up Sheep Mountain this summer in Colorado, I figured I could take anything, but wow-- this was a rough hike.

I've decided to look at this hike as my walk with Jesus. I started off surrounded by people I love not really knowing what I was getting into. It was a steep climb and a lot harder than I expected. Stopping to catch my breath more than a few times, I finally made it to the top and was met with such a beautiful view (you could see downtown Atlanta). And that's what my journey with Jesus has been-- unknown, uphill, hard, and SO rewarding.

After snapping a few pictures (insta or it didn't happen) we all sat down to soak in the amazing view and rest our legs and lungs. I pulled out my Bible to look for the story of Jesus on the mountain, and my bookmark was already on the page. I love the sweet little nuggets God has for us.

It read, "You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." -Matthew 5:14-16

This happens to be one of my most favorite passages in the Bible, and so fitting for the occasion. I have the last sentence taped to my light-switch so that every time I leave my room I remember to be a light to the world and to glorify God in all I do. I get so caught up in the everyday hustle and bustle that sometimes I forget to do just that. This weekend was a nice reminder of how I need to live my life-- giving myself to Jesus and giving myself to others.

Our speaker for the weekend said something that really struck me. He told us to run towards fear- to run towards our insecurities and hesitancy and throw ourselves fully into the arms of God. And that's exactly what I plan on doing. It's only up from here.

xoxo,
Rachel

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God." -Isaiah 41:10